Radio Show Script
Welcome and Introductions:
Laurie: Hi everyone, glad to see all here today on this lovely Saturday morning in May. What a great crowd.
On behalf of the St. Norbert Collaborative Forum for Undergraduate Research, we’d like to welcome you to this celebration of the unique collaborative research and creative projects going on here. I’m Laurie MacDiarmid, Professor of English and sometime mentor for the Summer Undergraduate Research Fellowship program, aka SURF, and I’m joined today by two amazing St. Norbert seniors who are both alums of that program.
First, we have Paige Daul, English major and media studies minor, who worked last summer on an exploration of the Brontë sisters. Paige, take a bow.
Next, welcome Scott Racine, English major and philosophy minor, who worked two summers ago on an examination of Ernest Hemingway and his troubled reception as a canonical author. Scott, bend a knee.
The three of us will be your Radio City Players for the next 20 minutes.
Definitions:
Laurie: You might be wondering what a research conference is -- or, for that matter, what an academic conference is -- and why you should care.
Paige: Great food for thought. A research conference brings curious minds together in person in order to share their findings with colleagues and communities that might benefit from their work.
Laurie: Researchers, writers, professors, students and lifelong learners get together to compare results, ask questions, find inspiration, make connections, and combine ideas to solve problems.
Paige: This stage of research is elastic, as we present our works in progress for feedback before publication -- which is usually when our ideas get “set in stone” -- so getting together to talk to each other about what we’re doing is an important stage of the research process.
AD:
Ed’s
Ed’s
[Upbeat Big Band Music Fades In]
ANNOUNCER (cheerful, fast-talking):
"Say there, folks! Feeling droopy as a daisy in December? Got a case of the ol’ yawns that just won’t quit? Well, perk up your ears and your mornings at Ed’s Coffee Shop — the jitter-joint that’s brewing smiles by the cupful!"
SFX: Coffee pouring, bell above a door jingling
ANNOUNCER:
"Whether you're a go-getter, a jet-setter, or just trying to remember what day it is — Ed’s has the fix for what ails ya! We’re talking piping-hot joe that'll knock the cobwebs right outta your noggin!"
FEMALE VOICE (excited):
"Gee whiz, Ed! This mocha’s got more kick than a chorus line at the Copacabana!"
ED (jovial, slightly tired):
"That’s right, darlin’! Here at Ed’s, we serve our coffee strong, our banter snappy, and our muffins… well, they’re fresh most days!"
ANNOUNCER:
"So swing on down to Ed’s Coffee Shop — where the beans are mean, the cream is dreamy, and you’re always just one cup away from feeling like a million bucks!"
ALL TOGETHER:
"Ed’s Coffee Shop — it’s swell, it’s sassy, and it’ll jazz up your day!"
ANNOUNCER (quick close):
"Located inside the Mulva Library — just follow the smell of ambition and slightly burnt toast! Tell ’em the radio sent ya!"
[Big Band Music Swells and Fades Out]
History
Laurie: Now a little about the history of undergraduate research and collaboration with professors here at SNC.
Laurie: Undergraduate research and collaboration with faculty has long a hallmark of St. Norbert College hands on learning. If you think about it, a research conference, at its best, is communio in action. When we get together to share our works in progress, we’re holding ourselves accountable, giving ourselves the chance to change our perspectives, bounce new ideas and approaches off of each other. This is just what the liberal arts tradition encourages us to do -- cast a wide net, and draw from a wide range of colleagues as we think through our particular projects.
Scott: St. Norbert College encourages us to put our curiosity into action. It’s fun to learn together, and from each other, and these kinds of collaborations are lifeblood to mentors and mentees alike.
Laurie: Just listen to what an alum of SNC, Beaux Myers, 2020, Psychology Major, has to say about his collaboration with Dr. Stuart Korshaven.
Paige: The first official Forum program comes from 2004, when the event was called a “Celebration of Student and Faculty/Staff Collaborations” and held in the Campus Center. It was organized by the SNC Collaborative for Undergraduate Research, a group dedicated to supporting students with grants to pursue such research during the academic year and in the summers.
Scott: Over the years, the Forum has allowed students who’ve gotten grants to showcase their research projects for the wider community. The celebrations have been held in the Campus Center, the old Todd Wehr Library and then Hall, and now here in the Mulva Library. The challenge has been to find a space that accommodates the growing number of participants and projects.
AD: Humanities
Humanities
[SFX: Swing music blares triumphantly. Typewriter clacks. A quill scribbles dramatically. Harpsichord trill.]
ANNOUNCER (full of vim and vigor):
“Ladies and gentlemen, scholars and scallywags, do you suffer from chronic confusion about the human condition? Have you recently asked, ‘Why are we here?’ while eating a soggy sandwich at your desk? Well chin up, old sport—because help is just a degree away!”
[SFX: A heavenly choir sings, “Huuuumanitiiieeees!”]
ANNOUNCER:
“Introducing: THE LIBERAL ARTS! That’s right, folks—Philosophy, Literature, History, Art, Languages, and more! It's the all-in-one, brain-boosting, soul-stirring remedy for a world gone mad with spreadsheets and quarterly reports!”
[SFX: Book pages flipping. Gregorian chant. A saxophone riffs in confusion.]
WOMAN (in dramatic old-Hollywood voice):
"Before the humanities, I didn’t even know what 'ontology' meant!"
MAN (heroic tone):
"Now I use it at dinner parties... with confidence!"
ANNOUNCER:
“Tired of small talk about the stock market? Want to quote Plato while making toast? Eager to compare Beowulf to your coworker Steve? Then enroll today in the Liberal Arts—education’s answer to ‘Can we make civilization better?’”
[SFX: Trumpets blare. Crowd claps in slow academic approval.]
ANNOUNCER (building excitement):
“With the Liberal Arts, you won’t just know what happened—you’ll know why! You'll write essays longer than a Sunday sermon and develop arguments sharper than a barber’s straight razor! Who needs job security when you’ve got perspective?”
[SFX: Cash register rings ironically. Laughter from an invisible book club.]
ANNOUNCER (winking tone):
“The Liberal Arts: because STEM can’t explain why your heart hurts during a Shakespeare monologue.”
[SFX: Barbershop quartet sings a snappy jingle:]
“Thinkin’ thoughts and readin’ books,
Analyzin’ ancient looks!
If your soul’s in need of clarity—
Try the Hu-ma-ni-teees!”
ANNOUNCER (dramatic finish):
“The Liberal Arts and Humanities—where your brain gets brawny, your heart gets hearty, and your existential dread gets really well-articulated! Enroll today! Or at least read a poem, for Pete’s sake.”
[SFX: Mic drops (literally). Music fades into a sonnet being read by Orson Welles, probably.]
Logistics
Paige: Depending on your field of inquiry, the way that you present your work will vary. Scientists and social scientists, for instance, tend to present works in progress as posters. You tour presentations and speak with researchers, meet people interested in facets of your own work, and engage in conversation and debate.
Laurie: Those of us in the Humanities tend to give oral presentations. You can find us behind a podium, giving a 15 minute talk about an aspect of whatever it is we’re currently working on.
Paige: Today we have an exciting program for you with both posters and talks! We’re thrilled to have you here today to explore the fascinating research and innovative projects our students have been working hard on. We’ve got 26 posters for you and 6 talks that highlight the breadth and depth of the work being done here at SNC. We’ve got a variety of presentations from all sorts of disciplines. You can check out projects in Chemistry, Biology, BioChem, Physics, Geology, Math, Psychology, Sociology, and Music.
Laurie: With so much going on, you’ll surely find something that piques your interest.
Scott: We encourage you to walk around the room and ask questions – no question is too small– and engage in lively discussions. Our presenters are eager to share their passion and knowledge with you, so don’t hesitate to approach them.
AD: Church
Church
[Soft instrumental music fades in — gentle organ or acoustic guitar]
ANNOUNCER (warm, calm, sincere):
"In a world that moves faster every day, it’s easy to feel disconnected — from others, from purpose, even from God.
The St. Norbert College Parish invites everyone to follow Christ’s calling, inviting each of us into deeper communion with Him and with one another."
[Peaceful sounds — distant church bells, soft murmurs of prayer or congregation]
ANNOUNCER:
"Whether you're returning to the Church, seeking spiritual renewal, or simply longing for peace, we invite you to join us in the beauty of the Mass, the richness of the Sacraments, and the strength of community rooted in faith and tradition."
PRIEST (gentle voice):
"Wherever you are on your journey, the Church is here to walk with you. Come home to the grace, mercy, and truth found in Jesus Christ."
ANNOUNCER:
"Mass times are Sundays 10:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. (During the college academic year) Weekdays 12:00 p.m. (Noon). Confessions are held Sunday 9-9:45 a.m. and 6-6:45 p.m. Monday 7-7:45 p.m. Wednesday 11-11:45 a.m, or by appointment. Call 920-403-3010 to schedule."
[Music swells gently and fades out]
Highlights
Paige: In a nutshell, here’s the structure for today: We’ve got poster presentations in this room from 10-12 and oral presentations in Mulva 101, right over there, from 10-12 as well. At 1 pm, we’ll have a special address and awards ceremony in Mulva 101, featuring beloved professor of biology Dr. Anindo Choudhury and prizes for our participants. The St. Norbert Jazz Combo will be performing for you at noon.
Laurie: I’ve been looking at the program and there’s a lot that’s interesting. I got a chance to talk with Katie Miller, a psychology major, who’s working with Macey Goodrich and Dr. Danielle Geerling on a project that explores what single straight men and women want in their partners over a series of relationship stages, everything from one night stands and hook ups to marriage. It turns out that women want nice guys for those hook ups, but not so much for marriage. What, women want to marry mean guys? Katie said yes! She also said that given the choice between a good sense of humor and physical attractiveness, people will choose the hottie over the comic. Want to know more? Check out their poster -- and use the interactive QR code on it to add your own two cents to the study. Set the record straight!
Paige: Wayne (AN CAR LOW) Ankarlo, Biology Major, worked with Dr. Carrie Kissman to look at the effects of climate change on lake ecosystems. Turns out, when the water temperature rises, the dissolved oxygen levels decrease, and the zooplankton communities suffer. I bet you all didn’t know that zooplankton are an important part of any water system and if they die, we’re in big trouble. Talk to Wayne if you want to know more.
Scott: Isabelle Arnold, Biology Major, worked with Dr. Ryan King to try to solve a family mystery -- what is the plant behind the “blackroot” medicine her family has used for four generations? The plant, gifted to Isabelle’s great-grandmother by an Indigenous family, demonstrated remarkable healing properties but the original plant has been lost. What is this plant, and why does it work so well?
Scott: Isabelle is also working with Dr. David Hunnicut to figure out whether the antimicrobial activity of the organic compounds commonly found in cleaning supplies actually serve their intended purpose (killing bacteria). Check out her poster to see which compounds prevented bacteria growth and which actually seemed to increase it. Imagine spraying expensive stuff all over your counter tops only to create a bacteria colony?
Laurie: Speaking of doing what you’re supposed to do, you might want to visit Tyler Newsom, Music Education Major’s collaboration with Dr. Jamie Waroff, “Teaching World Music Ethically.” He’s offering resources and strategies for educators to incorporate World Music into their curriculum without falling into cultural appropriation or misappropriation.
AD:
Phil’s
Phil’s
[Sound Effects: Upbeat jazz music playing. A whistle of a steam train in the distance. Radio static crackles in and clears.]
ANNOUNCER (in a bright, classic 1940s voice):
"Friends, Romans, countrymen—hold onto your hats and tighten those suspenders, 'cause have we got news for YOU! If your belly’s a-rumblin' and your car’s gas light is blinkin' like a jitterbug on a Saturday night—then steer your jalopy straight to the one, the only… PHIL’S GRILL AND C-STORE!"
[SFX: Ding-ding! Old-fashioned gas station bell as a car rolls in.]
ANNOUNCER:
"That's right, folks! At Phil’s, you can fill your tank, fill your tummy, and even fill your heart with the warm, greasy glow of America’s finest roadside delicacies! Our burritos are hotter than the sun on a July afternoon, and our burgers? So juicy, you’ll need a raincoat!"
[SFX: Comedic sizzle sound. Woman gasps. Man chuckles heartily.]
WOMAN (with a flirty tone):
"Phil's sushi made me forget my husband’s name!"
MAN:
"Mine made me remember I had one!"
ANNOUNCER:
"And don’t forget our convenience store! We’ve got everything from soda pop to motor oil, chewing gum to chicken feed, and yes, even those little dancing hula girls for your dashboard! You name it—Phil’s stocks it, stacks it, and probably snacks it!"
[SFX: Cow moos. Cash register dings. Jazz saxophone riff.]
ANNOUNCER:
"So come on down to Phil’s—where the grill’s always hot, the coffee’s always strong, and the conversation’s always mildly inappropriate! That’s Phil’s Grill and C-Store—inside the Ray Van Den Heuvel Family Campus Center, next to the Fox River! We do not serve fish from the Fox, so don’t worry."
[SFX: Crowd cheers, a car peels out, kazoo version of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” plays.]
ANNOUNCER (fading out):
"Phil’s: We put the ‘gas’ in gastronomy!"
[SFX: Outro jingle sung in tight four-part harmony, barbershop style:]
"P-H-I-L! That’s Phil’s with a grill! Fill up your tank and get your thrill! At Phiiiiil’s!"
[Radio static returns, then cuts.]
Conclusion
Laurie: Once again, you can tour the poster presentations until noon, and pop into Mulva 101 for our talks, going on at the same time. At noon, we’ll have a lovely jazz interlude brought to us the the SNC Jazz Combo, with
At 1:00 pm, we’ll conclude the celebration with an awards ceremony, and Dr. Anindo Choudhury, professor of Biology and Environmental science, will be our special guest speaker. Dr. Choudhury has been an active collaborator with students since landing at the College in the early 2000s, including them in his work on host-parasite associations, particularly in freshwater fish, in Canada, Mexico, Panama and the US. You can check out some of this work if you stop by Martin Wolf’s poster about the Summer and Winter Parasite Fauna of the Northern Pike in two WI lakes.
In unison: Without further ado, let the collaboration begin!
